tired + emo mode is turns on

emo = i'm sorry
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tired = not sleep yet have many things to do
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
emo mode is turns on

blur~~~

start to plan

the result just released out last monday.... i m just stuck with the craziness of my workloads till i forgot to check my result till all my fwen st (internal msging) me asking about the result.....
wah suddenly i become like zombie menggelabah, pucat and sejuk satu bdn.... then I bole salahkan air cond kuat sgt,.... pdhal aku yg menggelabah result dh kuar hehehhehe.....

actually i m not expecting so much because i dh few times fail the paper (same paper okey!!!) so i dh immune tp nk tgk result mstilah tkt kan.... then cmner ptg tuh during dinner time suddenly i remember about the result....still tkt lagi nk tgk n pura2 pinjam my fwen BB nk check email konon hehhehehehhe ntah mcm maner result aku kuar thru email hah rase nk cmpk jer BB tuh (isshhhkkk naya aku kene byr BB org, aku nya tak der ag hikhik) still tkt lagi nk tgk and mmber aku leh ckp muka aku suddenly pucat..... obviously pucat tkt kot!! aku leh ckp ye ker? tk der pe (pura2 tuk kali ke2) at last i think i should see wats the result to know wat shld i do next....

alhmadulilah wlaupun result tdk mmberangsangkan which is one paper pass one paper fail aku ttp bersyukur sbb paper yg pass tuh adalh paper yg aku dh fail TIGA KALI!!!!!!!!!!! diulang TIGA KALI!!! penantian itu satu penyeksaan .. yes I AGREED 200% hehhehehehhehe....

So, since my contract wif current employer nk tmt dh aku plan to finish all my papers within this semester... tp mcm tak bole sbb paper skang pun aku tk pg kelas sgt cmne tuh? then I planned to further my ACCA kat UK maybe ... asked for a deferment from petronas for 6 months or a year. after completed my acca then i come back to serve petronas bole ker? any idea???? ader ker case cm aku nih??? mcm2 la aku nih uhuhuhuh

i wanted to have an experience study oversea... nk gaks rase study kat tmpat omputih.... tp ntahlah too many things to think ... cost, time, contract wif petronas, fixed income, family, boipren (eh ader ker?) etc hehhehehehhe...

so, aku dlm dilema skang tak tau which one shld i do... this is my plan after finish my degree 3 years ago (owwhhh goshh, tuanya aku!!) since dpt offer keje then aku pun bersemangat keje dgn jayanya till skang at 4.59am still doing my works uhuhuhuhuh...

i have a lot of things in my mind i plan to do...

1. study oversea - petronas kasik ker? duetnya mana mau dicrk? tkkan nk pg sowg2? .....
2. smbg balik petronas - tk hbs ag acca nnti gaji cket.... nnti die cmpk jauh2 wah!!! byk nya bnda aku pikir....

should i think about it now or later or no need to think?
or
no need to plan just let it be as it is? (rasanya aku bukan org yg cmtuh uhuhuhuh)
ntahlar buntu .....

i have to think about it now kos if nk balik petronas dh kene report ngan dieorg by april or may....if i wanna further study kene start crk duet, college and so ever....

wahh!!! aku BUNTU!!!!!!
please dear, help me.....

old memory

last weekend the whole pamily pg KL tour actually not KL tour tp putrajaya tour... pg sane nk belaja tgkap gambo with dslr konon2nya last2 kiterog seronok ditangkap gambo @ jdk model la hehehhehehe....abah yg jdk lagi teror tgkap gambo hehhehehehehhe....

btw dats not the main thing i wanna story for this time... is all about my old memory....otw nk balik umah around 12am++ sumer dh lalok kekenyangan mkn kat pelita KLCC tbe2 adik aku yg sorg ntah mcmana leh tercerita plak kisah lame2 mase kecik2 dulu...

ader satu petang tuh, my sista, my fwen (till now i cant remmber who is she) and myself planned to change our route to go home from sekolah agama... we wanted to 'jalan jalan' usha rumah baru (now dipanggil rumah mastika).. konon2 kiteorg nih dh mcm org beso nk tgk rumah nk beli rumah hehhehehhe (mak abah ptt berbangga ngan kiterog sbb kecik2 ag dh berbakat nk jdk property investor ahaks~)

punyalar ralat tgk umah kuar msk satu umah ke satu umah yela mcm org nk beli umah baru (tgk thru the window jer sbb berkunci) ntah mcmana aku leh tak sedar ader longkang dpn gate tuh yg tak bertutup ... hmppp per ag gedebukkk!!!! aku sudah berada di dlm longkang.... yg bgsnya aku tak rasa skt sgt, tak cedera ,pth gg ker pth tulang ker n nasib aku baik dlm longkang tuh tak der air... kalu tak aku rase dh ke loji dh agaknya aku waktu tuh.... aku mmg tk ingt paper sgt psl bnda tuh sbb dh lama dan yg aku ingt aku penah jth longkang.... my sista yg bgs nih ingt bnda tuh wat malu aku jer.....

die ingt lg mase tuh die tak sedar yg aku dh jth dlm longkang nsb baik die pusing n die tgk aku tak de kat belakang die ... die crk2 tgk aku terkapai2 nk kuar dr longkang ngan tudung terbukak pin....Ya Allah sumpah lawak gle ble aku ingt bnda....

mak, abah, adik2 aku gelak tak ingt dunia la.... bukan setakat mlm tuh smpai ke esoknya mak aku still gelak ag smpai tersedak2 ......tuh la gelakkan ag cucu pak sheikh nih hahhahahah (perasan)

sambung balik pd cter tuh.... balik jerk umah my sista yg mmg sista plg baik dlm dunia bole cter kat cikjah.... hah kene la aku tembakan torpedo dr cikjah.... "yg ko lalu jln tuh naper? kang org der culik ko cmner? bla bla bla (tak ingt dh)..."

dulu masa muda2 cikjah garang gle tau... mungkin darah muda memuncak2 tuh yg garang nk mampos...now die dh jdk auntie + mummy plg spoting dlm dunia... love u cikjah!!!

nih pun old memory jugaks nih .... aku dulu masa tadika dihantar pg tadika ar arqam (actually tadika islam) adik2 aku sume pg tadika omputih.... ble aku tnya mak aku nape tak anto kat tadika same mak kata mase tuh tak cukup duit nk anto tadika mahal2 ...sob sob sedeynya aku dgr tp aku tak ksah sbb aku msh lagi jdk org yg berjaya hikhik (bangga laks plak sorry~) so ble msk tadika tuh aku tak la pndai sgt mengeja ker per so ble msk skolah darjah 1 aku cm bengap cket....ngeja pun lembab...

nsb baik la kat umah aku ader cikgu @ cikjah rajin nk ajar aku mengeja mengenal A B C D .... tp azab la belaja ngan die smpai nangis2 la aku uhuhuhuhuh... ye la kene pksa belaja uhuhuhuh tp wateva it is aku tak anggap tuh satu deraan yg sgt teruk sbb kalu cikjah tak wat aku cmtuh.... aku tak jdk mcm nih mcm skang.... again cikjah tahnk you very and always love u!!!

tuh la ble teringt bnda bnda lama nih nk gelak pun der nk nangis pun der .... mcm2 lar.... btw i miss that moment and i hope it will remains as apart of my sweet memories....

lalallalalalla~